How do you do?
How do you do?

I’m Mr Carrot, how do you do?
Meet my Papa Parsnip and my sister Celery too.
Cousins Cumin and Coriander
Have gone for a wander
But Aunt Aniseed is here indeed and she’d very much like to meet you.

How do you do?
I’m Mr Carrot, what is your wish?
Would you care for a nutritious dish?
Well my family and I
Can serve you a pie
Which is vitamin-richer than a fish, and so good for you.

I’m Mr Carrot, how do you do?
Oh, you’re feeling blue.
What a to-do.
We’ll send for Dr Dill
And her husband, Nurse Chervil,
And they’ll feed you some herbage and medical verbiage and cross fingers you’ll feel
good as new.

How do you do?
I’m Mr Carrot, say, what’s your mission?
Oh! You want to have night-time vision?
Yes, they say that carrots might
Make bright your night sight,
And I’m sorry to be a bore but that old folklore simply is not true.

I’m Mr Carrot, how do you do?
Oh, you want to know who
Might spread such a lie,
And for that matter why?

Well it was actually the Brits
Who, defending the Blitz,
Developed radar
To spot Nazis from afar,
But so no-one suspected
That’s how they detected
The enemy planes,
They propagated claims
That their gunners were dining
On carrots, refining
Their eyesight: a fib through and through.

How do you do?
How do you do?